Yellow Rain Boots

When I was around three or fours years of age, I remember walking down the street with my Tita Carmen (grandma), holding her hand. There were small puddles of water everywhere. I suppose it had rained, recently. We were in Tijuana, Mexico and it wasn’t uncommon to have super flooded sections of the road, so we had to weave through the streets as we made our way to the Mercado. We came upon a puddle that was big enough for me to see the depth of the sky and its grey, puffy clouds.

I stopped and tugged her hand and asked her, “Si brincó en el agua, me caigo en el cielo?” (If I jump in the water, will I fall in the sky?) Without hesitation, she told me to try and see. But she said it in such a way that I knew I had her approval, and I would be safe.

So with a mixture of curiosity, excitement and nervousness of the unknown, I went for it and stomped right into the puddle with my yellow rain boots. The ripples, the splashes, the adventure, the freedom of that moment, never left my soul. Without understanding it then, my grandmother was teaching me a lesson of courage. She was setting me up to live a bold and unrestricted life.

I have always been curious, adventurous, and never intimidated by the unknown or unfamiliar. Even when I have been afraid, I have leaped into new experiences my whole life, like I did in that puddle of water. I was born with a bold essence, but had my wings been clipped at an early age with fear and limitations, I may not have fulfilled the fullness of my essence.

A lot of the ways in which we react and behave in the world come from our subconscious memories and thoughts. Only about 10% of our thoughts are conscious. And these subconscious thoughts are the beliefs and messages, we aren’t even aware of, that were programmed into us at an early age up until about the first seven years of our lives. Our subconscious mind resides in the body, so conscious thought alone does not help us to access this part of our selves.

But one thing I have learned as a storyteller is that our stories are important, as insignificant as they may seem, they have played a huge role in shaping our perceptions and interaction with the world. Most importantly, they hold a key to our subconscious healing.

When stories like the one I just wrote arise, seemingly out of nowhere, I think it’s important to sit with them, write them down, feel where in your body they come from, and figure out what your body is asking you to reaffirm and/or release.

This is an example of positive messaging I received when I was growing up and how it helped to shape me into someone who sees beyond fear and limitations. But what about the programming I received that set the path for more limiting and self-destructive behaviors?

I will share a story about this as well, and how through that story I discovered patterns of beliefs manifested in behaviors that kept me stuck and unhappy.

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